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Thus you see I can make merry with calamities, and while I grieve at Sins, and war against them, abhorring the world, and myself more, descend into the abysses of humility, and there admire a new offspring and torrent of joys–God’s Mercies. Which accepteth of our fidelity in bloody battles, though every wound defile and poison; and when we slip or fall, turneth our true penitent tears into solid pearl, that shall abide with Him for evermore. But oh let us take heed that we never willingly commit a sin against so gracious a Redeemer, and so great a Father:

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1

Sin! O only fatal woe, That mak’st me sad and mourning go! That all my joys dost spoil, His Kingdom and my Soul defile! I never can agree With thee!

2

Thou! Only thou! O thou alone, And my obdurate heart of stone, The poison and the foes Of my enjoyments and repose, The only bitter ill, Dost kill!

3

Oh! I cannot meet with thee, Nor once approach thy memory, But all my joys are dead, And all my sacred Treasures fled As if I now did dwell In Hell.

4

Lord! O hear how short I breathe! See how I tremble here beneath A Sin! Its ugly face More terror, than its dwelling place Contains (O dreadful Sin!) Within!

50

THE RECOVERY Sin! wilt thou vanquish me? And shall I yield the victory? Shall all my joys be spoil’d, And pleasures soil’d By thee? Shall I remain As one that’s slain And never more lift up the head? Is not my Saviour dead? His blood, thy bane, my balsam, bliss, joy, wine, Shall thee destroy; heal, feed, make me divine.

51

I cannot meet with Sin, but it kills me, and tis only by Jesus Christ that I can kill it, and escape. Would you blame me to be confounded, when I have offended my Eternal Father, who gave me all the things in Heaven and Earth? One sin is a dreadful stumbling-block in the way to heaven. It breeds a long parenthesis in the fruition of our joys. Do you not see, my friend, how it disorders and disturbs my proceeding? There is no calamity but Sin alone.

52

When I came into the country, and saw that I had all time in my own hands, having devoted it wholly to the study of Felicity, I knew not where to begin or end; nor what objects to choose, upon which most profitably I might fix my contemplation. I saw myself like some traveller, that had destined his life to journeys, and was resolved to spend his days in visiting strange places: who might wander in vain, unless his undertakings were guided by some certain rule, and that innumerable millions of objects were presented before me, unto any of which I might take my journey. Fain I would have visited them all, but that was impossible. What then should I do? Even imitate a traveller, who because he cannot visit all coasts, wildernesses, sandy deserts, seas, hills, springs and mountains, chooseth the most populous and flourishing cities, where he might see the fairest prospects, wonders, and rarities, and be entertained with greatest courtesy: and where indeed he might most benefit himself with knowledge, profit and delight: leaving the rest, even the naked and empty places unseen. For which cause I made it my prayer to God Almighty that He, whose eyes are open upon all things, would guide me to the fairest and divinest.

53

And what rule do you think I walked by? Truly a strange one, but the best in the whole world. I was guided by an implicit faith in God’s goodness: and therefore led to the study of the most obvious and common things. For thus I thought within myself God being, as we generally believe, infinite in goodness, it is most consonant and agreeable with His nature, that the best things should be most common. For nothing is more natural to infinite goodness, than to make the best things most frequent; and only things worthless scarce. Then I began to enquire what things were most common: Air, Light, Heaven and Earth, Water, the Sun, Trees, Men and Women, Cities, Temples, &c. These I found common and obvious to all: Rubies, Pearls, Diamonds, Gold and Silver, these I found scarce, and to the most denied. Then began I to consider and compare the value of them which I measured by their serviceableness, and by the excellencies which would be found in them, should they be taken away. And in conclusion, I saw clearly, that there was a real valuableness in all the common things; in the scarce, a feigned.

54

Besides these common things I have named, there were others as common, but invisible. The Laws of God, the Soul of Man, Jesus Christ and His Passion on the Cross, with the ways of God in all Ages. And these by the general credit they had obtained in the world confirmed me more. For the ways of God were transient things, they were past and gone; our Saviour’s sufferings were in one particular, obscure place, the Laws of God were no object of the eye, but only found in the minds of men: these therefore which were so secret in their own nature, and made common only by the esteem men had of them, must of necessity include unspeakable worth for which they were celebrated of all, and so generally remembered. As yet I did not see the wisdom and depths of knowledge, the clear principles, and certain evidences whereby the wise and holy, the ancients and the learned that were abroad in the world knew these things but was led to them only by the fame which they had vulgarly received. Howbeit I believed that there were unspeakable mysteries contained in them, and tho’ they were generally talked of their value was unknown. These therefore I resolved to study, and no other, But to my unspeakable wonder, they brought me to all the things in Heaven and in Earth, in Time and Eternity, possible and impossible, great and little, common and scarce; and discovered them all to be infinite treasures.

55

That anything may be found to be an infinite treasure, its place must be found in Eternity and in God’s esteem. For as there is a time, so there is a place for all things. Everything in its place is admirable, deep, and glorious; out of its place like a wandering bird, is desolate and good for nothing. How therefore it relateth to God and all creatures must be seen before it can be enjoyed. And this I found by many instances. The Sun is good, only as it relateth to the stars, to the seas, to your eye, to the fields, &c. As it relateth to the stars it raiseth their influences; as to the Seas, it melteth them and maketh the waters flow; as to your eye, it bringeth in the beauty of the world; as to the fields, it clotheth them with fruits and flowers. Did it not relate to others it would not be good. Divest it of these operations, and divide it from these objects, it is useless and good for nothing, and therefore worthless, because worthless and useless go together. A piece of gold cannot be valued, unless we know how it relates to clothes, to wine, to victuals, to the esteem of men and to the owner. Some little piece, in a kingly monument, severed from the rest, hath no beauty at all. It enjoys its value in its place, by the ornament it gives to, and receives from all the parts. By this I discerned, that even a little knowledge could not be had in the mystery of Felicity, without a great deal. And that that was the reason why so many were ignorant of its nature, and why so few did attain it. For by the labour required to much knowledge they were discouraged, and for lack of much did not see any glorious motives to allure them.

56

Therefore of necessity they must at first believe that Felicity is a glorious though an unknown thing. And certainly it was the infinite wisdom of God that did implant by instinct so strong a desire of Felicity in the Soul, that we might be excited to labour after it, though we know it not, the very force wherewith we covet it supplying the place of understanding. That there is a Felicity, we all know by the desires after, that there is a most glorious Felicity we know by the strength and vehemence of those desires. And that nothing but Felicity is worthy of our labour, because all other things are the means only which conduce unto it. I was very much animated by the desires of philosophers, which I saw in heathen books aspiring after it. But the misery is It was unknown. An altar was erected to it like that in Athens with this inscription: TO THE UNKNOWN GOD.

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Two things in perfect Felicity I saw to be requisite and that Felicity must be perfect, or not Felicity. The first was the perfection of its objects, in nature, serviceableness, number, and excellency. The second was the perfection of the manner wherein they are enjoyed, for sweetness, measure, and duration. And unless in these I could be satisfied, I should never be contented: Especially about the latter. For the manner is always more excellent [than] the thing. And it far more concerneth us that the manner wherein we enjoy be complete and perfect, than that the matter which we enjoy be complete and perfect. For the manner, as we contemplate its excellency, is itself a great part of the matter of our enjoyment.

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In discovering the matter or objects to be enjoyed, I was greatly aided by remembering that we were made in God’s Image. For thereupon it must of necessity follow that God’s Treasures be our Treasures, and His joys our joys. So that by enquiring what were God’s, I found the objects of our Felicity, God’s Treasures being ours. For we were made in His Image that we might live in His similitude. And herein I was mightily confirmed by the Apostle’s blaming the Gentiles, and charging it upon them as a very great fault that they were alienated from the life of God, for hereby I perceived that we were to live the life of God, when we lived the true life of nature according to knowledge: and that by, blindness and corruption we had strayed from it. Now God’s Treasures are His own perfections, and all His creatures.