Diotimos Library · Fairy Tales Collection · English Edition

Charles Kingsley

The Water-Babies

Name: The Water-Babies
Author: Charles Kingsley

A Critical Edition of the 1863 Novel

The Water-BabiesChapter VII · Part 9

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English Edition · Branch 79 of 111

Chapter VII · Part 9

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The Water-Babies

p. 79

“Well, Prometheus was a very clever fellow, of course, and invented all sorts of wonderful things. But, unfortunately, when they were set to work, to work was just what they would not do: wherefore very little has come of them, and very little is left of them; and now nobody knows what they were, save a few archaeological old gentlemen who scratch in queer corners, and find little there save Ptinum Furem, Blaptem Mortisagam, Acarum Horridum, and Tineam Laciniarum.

“But Epimetheus was a very slow fellow, certainly, and went among men for a clod, and a muff, and a milksop, and a slowcoach, and a bloke, and a boodle, and so forth. And very little he did, for many years: but what he did, he never had to do over again.

“And what happened at last? There came to the two brothers the most beautiful creature that ever was seen, Pandora by name; which means, All the gifts of the Gods. But because she had a strange box in her hand, this fanciful, forecasting, suspicious, prudential, theoretical, deductive, prophesying Prometheus, who was always settling what was going to happen, would have nothing to do with pretty Pandora and her box.

“But Epimetheus took her and it, as he took everything that came; and married her for better for worse, as every man ought, whenever he has even the chance of a good wife. And they opened the box between them, of course, to see what was inside: for, else, of what possible use could it have been to them?

“And out flew all the ills which flesh is heir to; all the children of the four great bogies, Self-will, Ignorance, Fear, and Dirt—for instance:

Measles,

Monks,

Scarlatina,

Idols,

Hooping-coughs,

Popes,

Wars,

Peacemongers,

Famines,

Quacks,

Unpaid bills,

Tight stays,

Potatoes,

Bad Wine,

Despots,

Demagogues,

And, worst of all, Naughty Boys and Girls.

But one thing remained at the bottom of the box, and that was, Hope.

“So Epimetheus got a great deal of trouble, as most men do in this world: but he got the three best things in the world into the bargain—a good wife, and experience, and hope: while Prometheus had just as much trouble, and a great deal more (as you will hear), of his own making; with nothing beside, save fancies spun out of his own brain, as a spider spins her web out of her stomach.

“And Prometheus kept on looking before him so far ahead, that as he was running about with a box of lucifers (which were the only useful things he ever invented, and do as much harm as good), he trod on his own nose, and tumbled down (as most deductive philosophers do), whereby he set the Thames on fire; and they have hardly put it out again yet. So he had to be chained to the top of a mountain, with a vulture by him to give him a peck whenever he stirred, lest he should turn the whole world upside down with his prophecies and his theories.

“But stupid old Epimetheus went working and grubbing on, with the help of his wife Pandora, always looking behind him to see what had happened, till he really learnt to know now and then what would happen next; and understood so well which side his bread was buttered, and which way the cat jumped, that he began to make things which would work, and go on working, too; to till and drain the ground, and to make looms, and ships, and railroads, and steam ploughs, and electric telegraphs, and all the things which you see in the Great Exhibition; and to foretell famine, and bad weather, and the price of stocks and (what is hardest of all) the next vagary of the great idol Whirligig, which some call Public Opinion; till at last he grew as rich as a Jew, and as fat as a farmer, and people thought twice before they meddled with him, but only once before they asked him to help them; for, because he earned his money well, he could afford to spend it well likewise.

“And his children are the men of science, who get good lasting work done in the world; but the children of Prometheus are the fanatics, and the theorists, and the bigots, and the bores, and the noisy windy people, who go telling silly folk what will happen, instead of looking to see what has happened already.”

Now, was not Mother Carey’s a wonderful story? And, I am happy to say, Tom believed it every word.

279.Source editor’s annotationMock-Latin accusatives, objects of the verb find, naming the pests that eat old collections. Ptinus fur is the spider beetle, a notorious pest of museums; Blaps mortisaga, the death-foreteller, is the churchyard beetle of cellars; Acarus is a mite; and Tinea is the clothes moth, here of the fringes. The antiquaries dig for lost inventions and find only vermin.

280.Source editor’s annotationPlato’s Protagoras (320c-322d) gives the fable another turn. The gods charge the two brothers with sharing out powers among the new creatures. Epimetheus, “not so wise as he might be”, spends every gift on the beasts and leaves man “naked, unshod, unbedded, unarmed” (321b-c); Prometheus saves the race by stealing the arts, together with fire, from Hephaestus and Athena. At the end of the dialogue Socrates says that he likes Prometheus better and takes forethought for his own life (361d). Kingsley sides with Epimetheus against both Hesiod and Plato. A clod, a muff (a clumsy, feeble fellow), a milksop and a slowcoach are all terms of contempt for a dullard.

281.Source editor’s annotationHesiod explains the name the same way, because “all they who dwelt on Olympus gave each a gift” (Works and Days 80-82); but his Pandora is a snare. She lifts the lid of a great jar (pithos), not a box, and when the evils fly out “Only Hope remained”, under its rim (94-99). The box is usually traced to Erasmus, who retold the story in his Adagia (1508) under the proverb Malo accepto stultus sapit, the fool grows wise when harm is done. Kingsley’s Pandora is a good wife, and hope and experience are the reward of marrying her.

282.Source editor’s annotationFrom Hamlet’s soliloquy on death, “the thousand natural shocks / That flesh is heir to” (Hamlet 3.1). The list that follows mixes diseases, institutions and vices as the children of Kingsley’s four bogies.

283.Source editor’s annotationMonks, Idols and Popes stand among the plagues because of the anti-Catholic feeling that runs through Kingsley’s work, from the fanatical monks of Hypatia (1853) to his public quarrel with John Henry Newman in 1864. Such hostility was common in Protestant England, but these jibes reflect Kingsley’s own prejudice.

284.Source editor’s annotationThe peace party of Richard Cobden, John Bright and the Peace Society, who had opposed the Crimean War (1854-1856), which Kingsley ardently supported. He sets Wars and Peacemongers side by side as twin evils.

285.Source editor’s annotationFrancis Bacon’s image in Novum Organum (1620), book I, aphorism 95. Men of mere experiment are like ants, which only gather; pure reasoners are like spiders, which spin webs out of their own substance; the true philosopher, like the bee, both gathers and transforms. Kingsley’s Prometheus is Bacon’s spider, and his Epimetheus the patient gatherer of facts.

286.Source editor’s annotationFriction matches. The first were sold by John Walker of Stockton in 1827, and the London chemist Samuel Jones marketed his version as the Promethean or lucifer match, so the box suits Prometheus, who in Hesiod steals fire from Zeus in a hollow fennel stalk (Theogony 565-567). Early matches caused many fires. The proverb says of a dull man that he will never set the Thames on fire.

287.Source editor’s annotationA proverbial simile of the time, resting on the antisemitic stereotype of the wealthy Jewish money-lender. It reflects the casual prejudice of Kingsley and his age, and the book repeats such jibes.

About This Reading Edition

Charles Kingsley’s fairy tale follows Tom, a mistreated chimney-sweep, into a new life in river and sea. The complete story combines adventure, natural history, moral education, and Victorian satire. This annotated English edition includes the dedication, all eight chapters, the Moral, an introduction and reading guide, 348 explanatory notes, and the full commentary and textual apparatus.

Historical Text

The story first appeared in Macmillan’s Magazine in 1862–63 and as a Macmillan book in 1863. This edition follows Standard Ebooks’ transcription of the 1922 printing, with six readings restored from the first edition. The Note on the Text explains its spelling, punctuation, and corrections. Chapters, poems, songs, and indented catalogues retain their supplied arrangement; page numbers belong to the Diotimos reader.

About This Edition

Diotimos Editions prepared the introduction, reading guide, key words, character descriptions, notes, and commentary for this English edition. The explanatory notes accompany the passages they illuminate. Later sections include an Afterword, a chapter outline, critical reception, further reading, and textual and source notes. The complete supplied text is preserved, with reader branches ending at paragraph boundaries and the original chapter sequence intact.

Rights

Charles Kingsley’s historical text is in the public domain. The introduction, notes, and apparatus are © 2026 Diotimos Editions. Standard Ebooks supplies the copy-text transcription under CC0, and the linked historical printings identify its witnesses. The six restored readings and other editorial decisions are documented in the Note on the Text and Textual Notes. This edition is published with the site owner’s authorization.