Hobohemians

4

1Heinke and Willy came out of the Cigogne in the rue Vavin. They came out as one soul in two bodies, Willy describing how they would wander into gigantic forests of pine. There they would pick the tallest and straightest of trees, and alongside huge quarries of chalk, heaving their improvised cues against the flanks of mountains, chalk em up for a game of snooker with the stars. Since they both felt they had several series of centipede legs they cantered limberly sideways.

2“I am my own billiard ball rolling into my own pocket,” said Heinke.

3“I am a Sufi,” said Willy, and stood against a place where there might well have been a notice: Persons committing nuisances. . . .

4Willy turning away saw two very unheavenly cloaks over against him. They were sufis too, they had the appearance of billiard trees also. Trees walking to me. Irate policemen. Very conscious grew Willy someone was angry. Pig. Salaud [Bastard]. Courteous Willy blushed, shamefully realising he, most diplomatic, model of Englishman abroad, delicate in his treatment of foreign susceptibilities, had outrageously, irreparably, infra-officially insulted entire French nation. Removal of hat, bowing to representative, French savoir faire [social tact]: “Pardon, m’sieu, pardon [Sorry, sir, sorry].”

5Willy all blushingly desiring to acquit himself of intention to disparage a unit base of French architecture, pleaded his desire to receive forgiveness. Policeman explodingly heard only from superficial foreigner: “But really, but you must allow me, allow me to correct you”; heard only that in Willy’s reiterated ‘pardon.’ Hadn’t he seen him and here he denying? Agent turned his back, waved his arms vehemently allez-vous en [go away].

6“Je vous demand pardon [I beg your pardon],” humbly ran after him Willy, intending now, there, I am really sorry. Incomprehensible to him the resulting explosion. Intransigeant this agent.

7Heinke body and soul with courteous English gentleman rolled along: “I did it,” he said. “I was the man. Me voila [Here I am],” with German frankness.

8They watched the retreating frenzied forms of two policemen dismayfully. Willy buttoned himself: “Let’s go into the Rotonde for my circulars.” Heinke agreed. Something must be done for the little Englishman. A month he had been here with a thousand circulars announcing willingness to give English lessons at fifteen francs. And thus far only one unpaying but very grateful pupil. Out on the round again. They lost one another.

9When Willy finally refound Heinke he was at once surrounded by people. “So you went to the English embassy. What nerve! What English impudence! Tell us.”

10“I want black coffee,” said Willy.

11“What happened really? Tell us the truth, Heinke.”