The Anatomy of Melancholy

If such an exchange were offered, They would wish to save their little dog’s life by their husband’s death.

Many of them appear scrupulously religious and holy, indeed, and insist on going to a particular church to hear such a good man, such an excellent man, when their sole purpose, as he continues, is “to see and be seen, to observe the latest fashions, to meet some procurer, bawd, monk or friar, or to entice some lively fellow.”

For they persuade themselves, as Nevizzano shows, “that it is neither sin nor shame to sleep with a lord or a parish priest, if he is a handsome man.” And though she kneels often and prays devoutly, says Platina, “it is not for her husband’s welfare, her children’s good or any friend, but for her sweetheart’s return and her procurer’s health.”

If her husband wants her to go out, she pretends to be ill: “And pretends that her head has suddenly begun to ache.” Her head hurts, and she cannot move. But if her lover asks the same, she is ready for him at any time, at every hour of the night.

In the kingdom of Malabar and around Goa in the East Indies, the women are so cunning that, with a certain drink they give their husbands supposedly to drive away cares, “they make them sleep for twenty-four hours, or so intoxicate them that they remember nothing of what they saw done or heard; then, by washing their feet, restore them again, and so make their husbands cuckolds before their faces.”

Some are unfaithfully disposed at all times towards anyone they like; others are more cautious, restricting themselves to a few people at particular times, as the empress Livia “would take a passenger aboard only when the ship was full.” But as the poet said,

No pen could write, no tongue succeed in telling, By eloquence’s power or art’s assistance, A hundredth part of women’s treacheries.

Both sexes, to tell the truth, are often at fault. Men and women give genuine grounds for this discontent, aggravating it and furnishing matter for suspicion. Yet most of the principal causes arise from other external accidents and circumstances, even when the partners themselves are innocent and both well disposed.

The indiscreet behaviour of some lustful gallant—and, conversely, of some flighty woman—through frequent visits to a house and bold, improper gestures, may cause a breach. By his excessive familiarity he may colour the husband thoroughly yellow, if the husband already inclines that way. If the visitor is poor, of low birth and otherwise unattractive, says Benedetto Varchi, the husband suspects him less. But if he is handsome, like Alcibiades in Greece or Castruccio Castracani in Italy, well born and admired for his accomplishments, the husband grows more agitated and watches his actions.

The emperor Theodosius gave his wife Eudoxia a golden apple when he was courting her. Long afterwards she gave it to a young gallant at court with whom she was particularly acquainted. Seeing the apple in his hand, the emperor immediately suspected his wife of more unchastity than there was, banished the man from court, and from that day onwards ceased to have relations with her.

A rich merchant had a beautiful wife. As usual, he went travelling; in his absence a fellow tried to seduce her. She refused him; nevertheless, when he died shortly afterwards, he left her a legacy because of his love for her. On returning, her jealous husband, because she had gained more on land than he had at sea, cast her out on suspicion.