The Anatomy of Melancholy

A lover in Calcagnini’s Fables wished with all his heart that he were his mistress’s ring, so that he could see, hear, embrace, see again, and do I know not what. “You fool,” said the ring, “if you were in my place, you would hear, observe and see things shameful and regrettable, things that would make you loathe and hate her—perhaps even all women on her account.”

I will say nothing of the faults of their minds: their pride, envy, inconstancy, weakness, malice, wilfulness, frivolity, insatiable lust and jealousy. Ecclesiasticus 5:14: “No malice equals a woman’s, no bitterness is like hers,” Ecclesiastes 7:21. And, as the same author asks in Proverbs 31:10, “Who shall find a virtuous woman?” He makes a question of it.

“They know neither right nor goodness nor fairness; better or worse, helpful or harmful, they see nothing except what desire suggests.” They know neither good nor bad: whether it is better or worse, beneficial or harmful—as the comic poet puts it—they will do whatever they please.

Snares of the human race, the lament of life, The spoils of night, the harshest care of day, The punishment of men, the death of young men too, etc.

And for that purpose they were first created, as Jupiter suggests in the poet:

The fire that bold Prometheus stole from me Shall be avenged with plagues called women: Poor mortals, doting on their alluring, enticing faces, Shall embrace their own death.

In short, as Diogenes concludes in Nevisanus, “There is no woman who does not have a certain something”: they all have their faults.

Every one of them has some fault: If one is full of wickedness, Another has a lustful eye. If one is full of wantonness, Another is a scold.

When Leander drowned, the inhabitants of Sestos consecrated Hero’s lantern to Anteros, “Sacred to Anteros.” Whoever had been successful in love was to light its candle; but no man was ever found to light it. I can attribute this to nothing but women’s inconstancy and frivolity.

For among a thousand there is not one good woman; All are so proud, ungrateful and unkind, With hearts of flint, heedless of others’ suffering, Swept blindly headlong by their own desires. But I am forbidden to say more about this: Sometimes one may be scolded for speaking the truth.

You see that I am unwilling to pursue the case against them, so take care not to misunderstand me: “I touch no married woman.” With all good men, and as I ought, I honour the sex. Rather than displease them, I will willingly swear the oath taken by Mercurius Britannicus, Description of Viragos, book 2, folio 95: “That I will never devise any harm against the most noble sex, either in word or in deed,” etc.