The Anatomy of Melancholy

In every company they speak more than their share, and through these bad habits bring much harm upon their own souls: “whoever quarrels brings abuse upon himself.” Their life is a perpetual brawl. They snarl like so many dogs at their wives, children, servants, neighbours and all their other friends; they can agree with nobody.

But people who are judicious, gentle, yielding and quiet can easily remedy these troubles. On all such occasions they will exercise restraint, disregard or scorn the offence, take no notice of it, conceal their feelings or wisely turn it aside. If it concerns a natural defect—a red nose, crossed eyes, crooked legs—or any such imperfection, infirmity, disgrace or reproach, the best course is to mention it yourself first. You will thereby deprive others of grounds for mockery or contempt, since they will see that you are unconcerned about it.

Vatinius used to mock his own deformed feet to forestall his enemies’ insults and sarcasms about them. Or take preventive action, as Cotys, king of Thrace, did: he broke with his own hands a collection of fine glasses presented to him, lest he become too angry if they were accidentally broken.

At other times, provided it is done with discretion and moderation, it may be right to resist and put an insolent fellow in his place. There is no better means of defending yourself and securing lasting peace. For whoever lets himself be ridden over, or through cowardice or stupidity allows everyone to humiliate him, will become a common laughingstock for all to mock.

It is like a cur going through a village: if he tucks his tail between his legs and runs away, every other cur will lord it over him. But if he draws himself up, stands his ground and merely snarls back, not a dog dares meddle with him. Much depends on a man’s courage and the discretion with which he conducts himself.

Many other troubles befall us in this life, arising from friends, wives, children, servants, masters, companions, neighbours, and our own faults, ignorance, errors, intemperance, indiscretion, infirmities and so on. There are many good remedies to alleviate and withstand them, many divine precepts to steady our hearts, and special antidotes in both Scripture and secular writers. Whoever observes them will gain much ease and peace of mind. I will point out a few.

Everyone knows those prophetic and apostolic admonitions, and what Solomon, the son of Sirach and our Saviour Christ himself have said to this effect: “Fear God; obey the ruler; be sober and watchful; pray continually; be angry, but do not sin; remember your end; do not conform yourselves to this world; adapt yourselves to the times; do not contend with a powerful man; repay evil with good; do nothing through rivalry or vanity, but in humility let everyone esteem others more highly than himself; love one another.”

Or take that summary of the Law and the Prophets which our Saviour impresses upon us: “Love God above all, and your neighbour as yourself”; and “Whatever you would have people do to you, do likewise to them.” Alexander Severus had this written in gold letters and used it as a motto. Jerome recommends it to Celantia as an excellent means of setting her life right amid so many enticements and worldly provocations.

From secular writers take these few counsels: “Know yourself. Be content with your lot. Do not trust wealth, beauty or flatterers: they will bring you to destruction.”