The Anatomy of Melancholy

If Democritus were alive now and could see the superstition of our age, our religious madness—as Meteren calls it, “religious insanity”—so many professed Christians, yet so few imitators of Christ; so much talk of religion, so much learning, so little conscience, so much knowledge, so many preachers, so little practice; such a variety of sects, such wrangling on every side, “standards confronting standards,” and so on; such absurd and ridiculous traditions and ceremonies;

if he met a Capuchin, a Franciscan, a Pharisaical Jesuit, a man-serpent, a tonsured monk in his robes, a begging friar; or saw their sovereign lord the pope, with his triple crown, poor Peter’s successor, “servant of the servants of God,” deposing kings with his foot, treading on emperors’ necks, making them stand barefoot and bare-legged at his gates, hold his bridle and stirrup, and so on—if only Peter and Paul were alive to see it!—if he saw a prince creep up so devoutly to kiss his toe, and those red-capped cardinals, once poor parish priests and now the companions of princes: what would he say?

Suppose he met some of our devout pilgrims walking barefoot to Jerusalem, Our Lady of Loreto, Rome, Santiago, or Saint Thomas’s shrine, crawling to those counterfeit, worm-eaten relics. Suppose he attended Mass and saw the kissing of pax tablets and crucifixes, the bows and bobbing heads, their various vestments and ceremonies, pictures of saints, indulgences, pardons, vigils, fasts, feasts, signs of the cross, beating of breasts, kneeling at Hail Marys and bells, and much else: Delightful spectacles for an untaught crowd; praying in gibberish and mumbling over beads. Suppose he heard an old woman pray in Latin, or witnessed their sprinkling of holy water and their processions: A thousand companies of monks march past; why should I recount the banners, crosses, and revered images, and so on?

Their breviaries, papal bulls, blessed beans, exorcisms, pictures, elaborate crosses, fables, and dolls. If he had read the Golden Legend, the Turks’ Qur’an, the Jews’ Talmud, or the rabbis’ commentaries, what would he have thought? How do you think he would have reacted?

If he had singled out a Jesuit’s life for closer examination, he would have seen a hypocrite professing poverty yet owning more property and land than many princes, possessing limitless treasure and income; teaching others to fast while gorging himself, like boatmen who row one way and look the other. Vowing chastity and talking of holiness, yet in reality a notorious procurer and an infamous fornicator, “a lustful beast,” a very goat.