The Anatomy of Melancholy

Read more on this subject in the Dial of Princes, throughout book 2; Arnisaeus’s Politics; Cyprian; Tertullian; Bossus, On Women’s Dress; Godefridus, On Love, book 2, chapter 4; Levinus Lemnius, On Christian Education, chapter 54; Barbaro, On Marriage, book 2, chapter 2; Francesco Patrizi, On the Ordering of a Commonwealth, book 4, titles 4 and 5, on the duties of husband and wife; Cristóbal de Fonseca, Amphitheatre of Love, chapter 45; Samuel Neander; and so on.

These cautions concern the husband. If neither these measures nor his own judgement can bring him to moderate himself, his friends must use their wisdom, if possible, to reassure the distressed man, prevent and remove the occasions and objects of his jealousy, and, if they can, make him feel secure. Whether he suspects one person or many, they should consider whom he suspects, at what times, in what places and in what company he becomes most inflamed.

Nevizzano raises the question whether, in a case of illness, a young physician should be admitted into a newly married man’s house to administer a julep, a syrup or some similar medicine. The ancient Persians would not allow a young physician among women. Apollonides of Cos cuckolded Artaxerxes and was afterwards buried alive for it.

A jailer in Aristaenetus had a handsome young gentleman as his prisoner. Out of compassion for his youth and appearance, he released him from his restraints and allowed him the freedom of the prison; but the prisoner ungratefully made him a cuckold. Menelaus welcomed Paris as a stranger, putting his whole house and household at his disposal; but Paris discourteously stole away his dearly loved wife.

Agis, king of Sparta, received similar treatment from the exile Alcibiades in return for his hospitality. Alcibiades became too intimate with Agis’s wife Timaea, fathering a child by her named Leotychides, and moreover boasted, when he returned home to Athens, that he had a son who would become king of the Spartans.

If such objects of suspicion were removed, no doubt the sufferers might easily be reassured. Or others could treat them gently and kindly, instead of reviling, mocking or hating them, as people commonly do in such cases. It is a human weakness, a wretched torment; they should not add grief to grief or aggravate their misery, but seek to please them and do everything possible to put them at ease, through good advice, the removal of such provoking objects, or the mediation of sensible friends.

In ancient Rome, the married women erected a temple to the goddess Viriplaca, and another to Venus Verticordia, “who made husbands well disposed towards their wives.” Whenever a disagreement arose between husband and wife, they immediately went there. They offered a sacrifice—a white stag, as Plutarch records, “without gall,” without the gallbladder; some say the same of Juno’s temple—and prayed for peace in marriage. The dispute between husband and wife was heard before impartial arbitrators and friends, and usually settled.