The Anatomy of Melancholy

Subsection 5 Procurers and love potions as causes

When all other devices fail and they can get no further by themselves, their last resort is to turn to bawds, panders, magical love potions and recipes; rather than fail, they turn to the Devil himself.

If they cannot sway the gods above, they will rouse the world below.

By such devious means many a man is overcome and plunged into this malady unless he takes great care. First, these bawds are so common everywhere, and so numerous, that we may say of most of our cities what was said of ancient Croton: “Here people are either hunted or hunting”—either deceiving or being deceived—so many skilful professional bawds do they contain.

Besides, procuring has become an art, or a liberal science, as Lucian calls it. There are such tricks and subtleties, so many nurses, old women, panders, letter carriers, beggars, physicians, friars and confessors engaged in it, that “no pen could suffice to recount them,” as one writer says:

In three hundred lines No one could recount their filthy practices.

There are such secret signs, stenography, polygraphy, the Animated Messenger, or magnetic communication of their thoughts—which Cabeus the Jesuit, incidentally, considers fictitious and false—and such cunning means of passing messages that neither Juno’s jealousy, nor Danae’s confinement, nor Argus’s vigilance can keep their charges safe.

The last and usual resort is to employ an assistant, as Philippa of Catania was to Joan, Queen of Naples: the help of a bawd, an old woman in the business. So Myrrha did when she doted on Cinyras and could not achieve her desire: that old jade, her nurse, was ready in a pinch. “Tell me,” she said, “and let me bring you help; in this my diligence will serve you—put aside your fear.” Do not be afraid: if it can be done, I will do it.

“No woman is unconquerable by another woman,” as Celestina said. However virtuous, closely watched and reserved a man or woman may be, one of these old women will almost certainly find a way in. As Augustine observes, you will scarcely find a young woman alone in a nunnery: “If she cannot go out, you will find an old woman or some chattering gossip at her window, telling her stories of this cleric or that monk, describing or praising some young gentleman or other to her.”