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or in such a case as Brassivola the Physitian found Malatasta his patient, after a potion of Hellebor, which he had prescribed: Manibus in terram depositis, & ano versus cœlum elevato (ac si videretur Socraticus ille Aristophanes, qui Geometricas figuras in terram scribens, tubera colligere videbatur) atram bilem in album parietem injiciebat, adeoque totam cameram, & se deturpabat, ut, &c. all to bewrayed, or worse; if thou saw’st her (I say) wouldst thou affect her as thou dost?
Suppose thou beheldest her in a frosty morning, in cold weather, in some passion or perturbation of mind, weeping, chafing, &c. rivel’d and ill favoured to behold. She many times that in a composed look seems so amiable and delicious, tam scitula forma, if she do but laugh or smile, makes an ugly sparrow-mouthed face, and shews a pair of uneven, loathsom, rotten, foul teeth;
She hath a black skin, gouty legs, a deformed crooked carkass under a fine coat. It may be for all her costly tires she is bald, and though she seem so fair by dark, by candle light, or afar off at such a distance, as Callicratides observed in Lucian, If thou shouldst see her neer, or in a morning, she would appear more ugly then a beast. Si, diligenter consideres, quid per os & nares & cæteres corporis meatus egreditur, vilius sterquilinium nunquam vidisti.
Follow my counsell, see her undrest, see her, if it be possible, out of her attires, furtivis nudatam coloribus, it may be she is like Æsops Jay, or Plinies Cantharides, she will be loathsome, ridiculous, thou wilt not endure her sight: or suppose thou saw’st her sick, pale, in a consumption, on her death-bed, skin and bones, or now dead, Cujus erat gratissimus amplexus, as Barnard saith, erit horribilis aspectus;
Non redolet, sed olet, quæ redolere solet.
As a posie, she smels sweet, is most fresh and fair one day, but dried up, withered, and stinks another. Beautifull Nireus, by that Homer so much admired, once dead, is more deformed then Thersites, and Solomon deceased as ugly as Marcolphus: thy lovely mistris, that was erst Charis charior ocellis, dearer to thee then thine eyes, once sick or departed, is
Vili vilior æstimata cœno,
worse then any durt or dunghill. Her embraces were not so acceptable, as now her looks be terrible: thou hadst better behold a Gorgons head, then Helenas carkase.
Some are of opinion, that to see a woman naked is able of it self to alter his affection; and it is worthy of consideration, saith Montaigne the Frenchman in his Essaies, that the skilfullest masters of amorous dalliance, appoint for a remedy of venerous passions, a full survey of the body; which the Poet insinuates,
Ille quod obscœnas in aperto corpore partes Viderat, in cursu qui fuit, hæsit amor.
The love stood still, that ran in full cariere, When once it saw those parts should not appear.
It is reported of Seleucus King of Syria, that seeing his wife Stratonices bald pate, as she was undressing her by chance, he could never affect her after. Remundus Lullius the Physitian, spying an ulcer or canker in his mistris breast, whom he so dearly loved, from that day following abhorr’d the looks of her.
Philip the French King as Neubrigensis, lib. 4. cap. 24. relates it, married the King of Denmarks daughter, and after he had used her as a wife one night, because her breath stunk, they say, or for some other secret fault, sent her back again to her father.
Peter Mattheus in the life of Lewis the eleaventh, findes fault with our English Chronicles, for writing how Margaret the King of Scots daughter and wife to Lewis the 11. French King, was ob graveolentiam oris rejected by her husband.
Many such matches are made for by-respects, or some seemly comeliness, which after hony moons past, turn to bitterness: for burning lust is but a flash, a gunpowder passion; and hatred oft follows in the highest degree, dislike and contempt.
—— Cum se cutis arida laxat, Fiunt obscuri dentes:
when they wax old, and ilfavoured, they may commonly no longer abide them.
—— Jam gravis es nobis, be gone, they grow stale, fulsome, loathsome, odious, thou art a beastly filthy queane,
—— faciem Phœbi cacantis habes,
thou art Saturni podex, withered and dry, insipida & vetula,
—— Te quia rugæ turpant, & capitis nives,
(I say) be gone, portæ patent, proficiscere.
Yea but you will infer, your mistris is compleat, of a most absolute form in all mens opinions, no exceptions can be taken at her, nothing may be added to her person, nothing detracted, she is the mirror of women for her beauty, comeliness and pleasant grace, unimitable, meræ delitiæ, meri lepores, she is Myrothetium Veneris, Gratiarum pixis, a meer magazine of naturall perfections, she hath all the Veneres, and Graces,
—— mille faces & mille figuras,
in each part absolute and compleat,
Læta genas, læta os roseum, vaga lumina læta:
to be admired for her person, a most incomparable, unmatchable peece, aurea proles, ad simulachrum alicuius numinis composita, a Phœnix, vernantis ætatulæ Venerilla, a Nymph, a Fairy, like Venus her self when she was a maid, nulli secunda, a meer quintessence, flores spirans & amaracum, fœminæ prodigium: Put case she be, how long will she continue?
Florem decoris singuli carpunt dies:
Every day detracts from her person, and this beauty is bonum fragile, a meer flash, a Venice glass, quickly broken,
Anceps forma bonum mortalibus, —— exigui donum breve temporis,
it will not last. As that fair flower Adonis, which we call an Anemony, flourisheth but one month, this gracious all commanding beauty fades in an instant. It is a jewell soon lost, the painters Goddesse, falsa veritas, a mere picture. Favour is deceitfull, and beauty is vanity, Prov. 31. 30.
Vitrea gemmula, fluxaq; bullula, candida forma est, Nix, Rosa, ros, fumus, ventus & aura, nihil.
A brittle Jem, bubble, is beauty pale, A Rose, dew, snow, smoke, winde, air, naught at all.
If she be fair, as the saying is, she is commonly a fool: if proud, scornfull, sequiturq; superbia formam, or dishonest, rara est concordia formæ atq; pudicitiæ, can she be fair and honest too? Aristo the son of Agesicles married a Spartan lass, the fairest Lady in all Greece next to Helen, but for her conditions the most abominable, and beastly creature of the world.
So that I would wish thee to respect, with Seneca, not her person but qualities. Will you say that’s a good blade which hath a guilded scabbard, imbroidered with gold, and Jewels? No, but that which hath a good edge and point, well tempered mettle, able to resist.
This beauty is of the body alone, and what is that, but as Gregory Nazianzen telleth us, A mock of time and sickness? or as Boëthius, as mutable as a flowre, and ’tis not nature so makes us, but most part the infirmity of the beholder.
For ask another, he sees no such matter: Dic mihi per gratias qualis tibi videtur, I pray thee tell me how thou likest my sweet-heart, as she asked her sister in Aristænætus, whom I so much admire, me thinks he is the sweetest gentleman, the properest man that ever I saw: but I am in love, I confess, (nec pudet fateri) and cannot therefore well judge.
But be she fair indeed, golden-haired, as Anacreon his Bathillus, (to examine particulars) she have
Flammeolos oculos, collaq; lacteola,
a pure sanguine complexion, little mouth, corall lips, white teeth, soft and plump neck, body, hands, feet, all fair and lovely to behold, composed of all graces, elegances, an absolute piece,