By counsel and perswasion, foulness of the fact, mens, womens faults, miseries of marriage, events of lust, &c.

As there be divers causes of this burning lust, or heroical love; so there be many good remedies to ease and help; amongst which, good counsel and perswasion, which I should have handled in the first place, are of great moment, and not to be omitted. Many are of opinion, that in this blind head-strong passion, counsel can do no good.

Quæ enim res in se neque consilium neque modum Habet, ullo eam consilio regere non potes.

Which thing hath neither judgement, or an end, How should advice or counsel it amend?

—— Quis enim modus adsit amori?

But without question, good counsel and advice must needs be of great force, especially if it shall proceed from a wise, fatherly, reverent, discreet person, a man of authority whom the parties do respect, stand in awe of, or from a judicious friend; of it self alone, it is able to divert and suffice.

Gordonius the Physitian attributes so much to it, that he would have it by all means used in the first place. Amoveatur ab illa, consilio viri quem timet, ostendendo pericula sæculi, judicium inferni, gaudia Paradisi.

He would have some discreet men to disswade them, after the fury of passion is a little spent, or by absence allayed; for it is as intempestive at first, to give counsel, as to comfort parents when their children are in that instant departed; to no purpose to prescribe Narcoticks, Cordials, Nectarines, potions, Homers Nepenthes, or Helenas Boul, &c. Non cessabit pectus tundere, she will lament and howl for a season:

let passion have his course a while, and then he may proceed, by fore-shewing the miserable events and dangers which will surely happen, the pains of hell, joys of Paradise, and the like, which by their preposterous courses they shall forfeit or incurre; and ’tis a fit method, a very good means: for what Seneca said of vice, I say of love, Sine magistro discitur, vix sine magistro deseritur, ’tis learned of it self, but hardly left without a Tutor.

’Tis not amiss therefore to have some such overseer, to expostulate and shew them such absurdities, inconveniences, imperfections, discontents, as usually follow; which their blindness, fury, madness, cannot apply unto themselves, or will not apprehend through weakness: and good for them to disclose themselves, to give ear to friendly admonitions.

Tell me sweet-heart, (saith Tryphena to a love-sick Charmides in Lucian) what is that troubles thee; peradventure I can ease thy mind, and further thee in thy suit; and so without question she might, and so maist thou, if the Patient be capable of good counsel, and will hear at least what may be said.

If he love at all, she is either an honest woman or a whore. If dishonest, let him read or inculcate to him that 5. of Solomons Prov. Ecclus. 26. Ambros. lib. 1. cap. 4. in his book of Abel and Cain, Philo Judæus de mercede mer. Platinas dial. in Amores, Espencæus and those three books of Pet. Hædus de contem. amoribus, Æneas Sylvius tart Epistle, which he wrote to his friend Nicholas of Warthurge, which he calls medelam illiciti amoris, &c.

For what’s an whore, as he saith, but a peler of youth, a ruine of men, a destruction, a devourer of patrimonies, a downfal of honour, fodder for the divel, the gate of death, and supplement of hell? Talis amor est laqueus animæ, &c. a bitter hony, sweet poyson, delicate destruction, a voluntary mischief, commixtum cœnum, sterquilinium.

And as Pet. Aratines Lucretia, a notable quean, confesseth; Gluttony, anger, envy, pride, sacriledge, theft, slaughter, were all born that day a whore began her profession: for as she follows it, her pride is greater then a rich churls, she is more envious then the pox, as malitious as melancholy, as covetous as hell. If from the beginning of the world any were mala, pejor, pessima, bad in the superlative degree, ’tis a whore; how many have I undone, caused to be wounded, slain! O Antonia thou seest what I am without, but within God knows, a puddle of iniquity, a sink of sin, a pocky quean.

Let him now that so dotes, meditate on this; Let him see the event and success of others, Sampson, Hercules, Holofernes, &c. those infinite mischiefs attend it. If she be another mans wife he loves, ’tis abominable in the sight of God and men: adultery is expresly forbidden in Gods commandment, a mortal sin, able to endanger his soul: if he be such a one that fears God, or have any religion, he will eschew it, and abhor the loathsomness of his own fact.

If he love an honest maid, ’tis to abuse, or marry her: if to abuse, ’tis fornication, a foul fact, (though some make light of it) and almost equal to adultery it self. If to marry, let him seriously consider what he takes in hand, look before he leap, as the proverb is, or settle his affections, and examine first the party and condition of his estate and hers, whether it be a fit match, for fortunes, years, parentage, and such other circumstances, an sit suæ Veneris. Whether it be likely to proceed: if not, let him wisely stave himself off at the first, curb in his inordinate passion, and moderate his desire, by thinking of some other subject, divert his cogitations.

Or if it be not for his good, as Æneas forewarned by Mercury in a dream, left Dido’s love, and in all hast got him to Sea,

Mnesthea, Surgestumque vocat fortemque Cloanthem, Classem aptent taciti jubet ——

and although she did oppose with vows, tears, prayers, and imprecation,

—— nullis ille movetur Fletibus, aut illas voces tractabilis audit;

Let thy Mercury-reason rule thee against all allurements, seeming delights, pleasing inward or outward provocations. Thou maist do this if thou wilt, pater non deperit filiam, nec frater sororem, a father dotes not on his own daughter, a brother on a sister; and why? because it is unnatural, unlawful, unfit. If he be sickly, soft, deformed, let him think of his deformities, vices, infirmities: if in debt, let him ruminate how to pay his debts: if he be in any danger, let him seek to avoid it: if he have any law-suit, or other business, he may do well to let his love matters alone and follow it, labour in his vocation, what ever it is.

But if he cannot so ease himself, yet let him wisely premeditate of both their estates; if they be unequal in years, she yong and he old, what an unfit match must it needs be, an uneven yoak, how absurd and undecent a thing is it! as Lycinus in Lucian told Timolaus, for an old bald crook-nosed knave, to marry a yong wench; how odious a thing it is to see an old Leacher! what should a bald fellow do with a combe, a dumb doter with a pipe, a blind man with a looking-glass, and thou with such a wife? How absurd is it for a yong man to marry an old wife for a piece of good.

But put case she be equal in years, birth, fortunes, and other qualities correspondent, he doth desire to be coupled in marriage, which is an honourable estate, but for what respects? Her beauty belike, and comeliness of person, that is commonly the main object, she is a most absolute form in his eye at least, Cui formam Paphia, & Charites tribuere decorem; but do other men affirm as much? Or is it an errour in his judgement?

Fallunt nos oculi vagique sensus, Oppressa ratione mentiuntur,

our eys and other senses will commonly deceive us; It may be, to thee thy self upon a more serious examination, or after a little absence, she is not so fair as she seems. Quædam videntur & non sunt; Compare her to another standing by, ’tis a touchstone to try, confer hand to hand, body to body, face to face, eye to eye, nose to nose, neck to neck, &c. examine every part by it self, then altogether, in all postures, several sites, and tell me how thou likest her.

It may be not she, that is so fair, but her coats, or put another in her cloaths, and she will seem all out as fair; as the Poet then prescribes, separate her from her cloaths: suppose thou saw her in a base beggers weed, or else dressed in some old hirsute attires out of fashion, fowl linnen, course raiment, besmeared with soot, colly, perfumed with Opoponax, Sagapenum, Assa fœtida, or some such filthy gums, dirty, about some undecent Action or other;