SUBSECT. 5. Bawds, Philters, causes.

When all other engines fail, that they can proceed no farther of themselves, their last refuge is to flye to Bawds, Panders, Magical Philters, and receits, rather then fail, to the Divel himself.

Flectere si nequeunt superos, Acheronta movebunt.

And by those indirect means many a man is overcome, and precipitated into this malady, if he take not good heed. For these Bawds first, they are every where so common, and so many, that as he said of old Croton, homines hic aut captantur, aut captant, either inveagle or be inveagled, we may say of most of our Cities, there be so many professed, cunning bawds in them.

Besides, bawdry is become an art, or a liberal science, as Lucian calls it; and there be such tricks and subtleties, so many nurses, old women, Panders, letter-carriers, beggers, Physitians, Friers, Confessors employed about it, that nullus tradere stilus sufficiat, one saith,

—— trecentis versibus Suas impuritias traloqui nemo potest.

Such occult notes, Stenography, Polygraphy, Nuntius Animatus, or magnetical telling of their minds, which Cabeus the Jesuit, by the way, counts fabulous and false; cunning conveyances in this kind, that neither Juno’s jealousie, nor Danae’s custody, nor Argo’s vigilancy can keep them safe.

’Tis the last and common refuge to use an assistant, such as that Catanean Philippa was to Jone Queen of Naples, a Bawds help, an old woman in the business, as Myrrha did when she doted on Cyniras, and could not compass her desire, the old Jade her Nurse was ready at a pinch, dic inquit, opemque me sine ferre tibi —— & in hâc mea (pone timorem) Sedulitas erit apta tibi, fear it not, if it be possible to be done, I will effect it:

non est mulieri mulier insuperabilis, as Cælestina said, let him or her be never so honest, watched, and reserved; tis hard but one of these old women will get access: and scarce shall you find, as Austin observes, in a Nunnery a maid alone, if she cannot have egress, before her window you shall have an old woman, or some prating Gossip tell her some tales of this Clerk, and that Monk, describing or commending some yong Gentleman or other unto her.

As I was walking in the street (saith a good fellow in Petronius) to see the town served one evening, I spied an old woman in a corner selling of Cabbages and Roots, (as our Hucksters do plums, Apples, and such like fruits;) mother (quoth he) can you tell where I dwell? she being well pleased with my foolish urbanity, replied, and why sir should I not tell? with that she rose up and went before me; I took her for a wise woman, and by and by she led me into a by-lane, and told me there I should dwell; I replyed again I knew not the house; but I perceived on a sudden by the naked queans, that I was now come into a Bawdy house, and then too late I began to curse the treachery of this old Jade.

Such tricks you shall have in many places, and amongst the rest it is ordinary in Venice, and in the Island of Zante, for a man to be Bawd to his own wife. No sooner shall you land or come on shore, but as the Comical Poet hath it,

Morem hunc meretrices habent, Ad portum mittunt servulos, ancillulas, Si qua peregrina navis in portum aderit, Rogant cujatis sit, quod ei nomen siet, Post illæ extemplo sese adplicent.

These white Divels have their Panders, Bawds and Factors in every place to seek about, and bring in customers, to tempt and way-lay novices, and silly travellers. And when they have them once within their clutches, as Ægidius Maserius in his comment upon Valerius Flaccus describes them, with promises and pleasant discourse, with gifts, tokens, and taking their opportunities, they lay nets which Lucretia cannot avoid, and baits that Hippolitus himself would swallow; they make such strong assaults and batteries, that the Goddess of Virginity cannot withstand them:

give gifts, and bribes to move Penelope, and with threats able to terrifie Susanna. How many Proserpina’s with those catchpoles doth Pluto take? These are the sleepy rods with which their souls touched descend to hell; this the glew or lime with which the wings of the mind once taken cannot fly away; the Divels ministers to allure, entice, &c. Many yong men and maids without all question are inveagled by these Eumenides and their associates. But these are trivial and well known.

The most slye, dangerous, and cunning bawds, are your knavish Physitians, Empyricks, Mass-Priests, Monks, Jesuits, and Friers. Though it be against Hippocrates oath, some of them will give a dram, promise to restore maidenheads, and do it without danger, make an abort if need be, keep down their paps, hinder conception, procure lust, make them able with Satyrions, and now and then step in themselves.

No Monastery so close, house so private, or prison so well kept, but these honest men are admitted to censure and ask questions, to feel their pulse, be at their bed side, and all under pretence of giving Physick. Now as for Monks, Confessors, and Friers, as he said,

Non audet Stygius Pluto tentare quod audet Effrenis Monachus, plenaque fraudis anus.

That Stygian Pluto dares not tempt or do, What an old hag or Monk will undergo: