to say they are younger then they are. Carmides in the said Lucian loved Philematium, an old maid of 45. years, she swore to him she was but 32. next December. But to dissemble in this kind, is familiar of all sides, and often it takes.

Fallere credentem res est operosa puellam,

’tis soon done, no such great mastery,

Egregiam verò laudem, & spolia ampla, ——

And nothing so frequent as to bely their estates, to prefer their suites, and to advance themselves. Many men to fetch over a young woman, widdows, or whom they love, will not stick to crack, forge and fain any thing comes next, bid his boy fetch his cloak, rapier, gloves, jewels, &c. in such a chest, scarlet-golden-tissue breeches, &c. when there is no such matter;

or make any scruple to give out, as he did in Petronius, that he was master of a ship, kept so many servants, and to personate their part the better, take upon them to be gentlemen of good houses, well descended and allied, hire apparell at brokers, some Scavinger or pricklouse Tailors to attend upon them for the time, swear they have great possessions, bribe, lye, cog, and foist how dearly they love, how bravely they will maintain her, like any Lady, Countess, Dutchess, or Queen; they shall have gowns, tiers, jewels, coaches, and caroches, choice diet,

The heads of Parrats, tongues of Nightingals. The brains of Peacocks, and of Estriches, Their bath shall be the juyce of Gilliflowres, Spirit of Roses, and of Violets, The milk of Unicorns, &c.

as old Vulpone courted Cælia in the Comœdy, when as they are no such men, not worth a groat, but meer sharkers, to make a fortune, to get their desire, or else pretend love to spend their idle hours, to be more welcome, and for better entertainment. The conclusion is, they mean nothing less,

Nil metuunt jurare, nihil promittere curant: Sed simulac cupidæ mentis satiata libido est, Dicta nihil metuere, nihil perjuria curant.

Oathes, vows, promises, are much protested; But when their minde and lust is satisfied, Oathes, vows, promises, are quite neglected.

though he solemnly swear by the Genius of Cæsar, by Venus shrine, Hymens deity, by Jupiter, and all the other gods, give no credit to his words. For when Lovers swear, Venus laughs, Venus hæc perjuria ridet, Jupiter himself smiles, and pardons it withall, as grave Plato gives out, of all perjury, that alone for love matters is forgiven by the gods.

If promises, lies, oathes, and protestations will not avail, they fall to bribes, tokens, gifts, and such like feates. Plurimus auro conciliatur amor: as Jupiter corrupted Danae with a golden shower, and Liber Ariadne with a lovely Crown, (which was afterwards translated into the heavens, and there for ever shines;) they will rain Chickins, Florens, Crowns, Angels, all maner of coines and stamps in her lap.

And so must he certainly do that will speed, make many feasts, banquets, invitations, send her some present or other every foot. Summo studio parentur epulæ (saith Hædus) & crebræ fiant largitiones, he must be very bountiful and liberal, seek and sue, not to her onely, but to all her followers, friends, familiars, fidlers, panders, parasites, and houshold servants; he must insinuate himself, and surely will, to all, of all sorts, messengers, porters, carriers; no man must be unrewarded, or unrespected.

I had a suiter (saith Aretine’s Lucretia) that when he came to my house, flung gold and silver about, as if it had bin chaff. Another suiter I had was a very cholerick fellow; but I so handled him, that for all his fuming, I brought him upon his knees: If there had been an excellent bit in the market, any novelty, fish, fruit, or fowl, muskadel, or malmesey, or a cup of neat wine in all the city, it was presented presently to me, though never so dear, hard to come by, yet I had it: the poor fellow was so fond at last, that I think if I would I might have had one of his eyes out of his head.

A third suiter was a Merchant of Rome, and his manner of woing was with exquisite musick, costly banquets, poems, &c. I held him off till at length he protested, promised, and swore pro virginitate regno me donaturum, I should have all he had, house, goods and lands, pro concubitu solo: Neither was there ever any Conjurer I think, to charm his spirits that used such attention, or mighty words, as he did exquisite phrases; or General of any army, so many stratagems to win a city, as he did tricks and devices to get the love of me.

Thus men are active and passive, and women not far behind them in this kinde: Audax ad omnia fæmina, quæ vel amat, vel odit.

For half so boldly there can non, Swear and lye as women can.

They will crack, counterfeit and collogue as well as the best, with handkerchiefs, and wrought nightcaps, purses, poses, and such toyes: as he justly complained,

Cur mittis violas? nempe ut violentius urer; Quid violas violis me violenta tuis? &c.

Why dost thou send me Violets my dear? To make me burn more violent I fear; With Violets too violent thou art, To violate and wound my gentle heart.

When nothing else will serve, the last refuge is their tears. Hæc scripsi (testor amorem) mixta lachrymis & suspiriis, ’twixt tears and sighs, I write this (I take love to witness) saith Chelidonia to Philonius. Lumina quæ modò fulmina, jam flumina lachrymarum, those burning torches are now turn’d to floods of tears.

Aretines Lucretia, when her sweet heart came to town wept in his bosome, that he might be perswaded those tears were shed for joy of his return. Quartilla in Petronius when nought would move, fell a weeping, and as Balthazar Castilio paints them out, To these Crocodiles tears, they will add sobs, fiery sighs, and sorrowfull countenance, pale colour, leanness, and if you do but stir abroad, these fiends are ready to meet you at every turn, with such a sluttish neglected habit, dejected look, as if they were now ready to dye for your sake; and how saith he, shall a yong novice thus beset, escape? But beleeve them not.

—— animam ne crede puellis, Namque est fæmineâ tutior unda fide.

Thou thinkest peradventure because of her vows, tears, smiles, and protestations, she is solely thine, thou hast her heart, hand, and affection, when as indeed there is no such matter, as the Spanish Bawd said, gaudet illa habere unum in lecto, alterum in portâ, tertium qui domi suspiret, she will have one sweet heart in bed, another in the gate, a third sighing at home, a fourth &c. Every yong man she sees and likes hath as much interest, and shall as soon injoy her as thy self.

On the other side, which I have said, men are as false, let them swear, protest, and lye;

Quod vobis dicunt, dixerunt mille puellis.

They love some of them those eleven thousand Virgins at once, and make them believe each particular, he is besotted on her, or love one till they see another, and then her alone: like Milo’s wife in Apuleius, lib. 2. Si quem conspexerit speciosæ formæ juvenem, venustate ejus sumitur, & in eum animum intorquet.

’Tis their common complement in that case, they care not what they swear, say, or do. One while they slight them, care not for them, rail down right and scoffe at them, and then again they will run mad, hang themselves, stab and kill, if they may not injoy them. Henceforth therefore,

—— nulla viro juranti fæmina credat,

let not maids believe them. These tricks and counterfeit passions are more familiar with women, finem hic dolori faciet aut vitæ dies, miserere amantis, quoth Phædra to Hippolitus.

Joessa in Lucian, told Pythius a yong man, to move him the more, that if he would not have her, she was resolv’d to make away her self. There is a Nemesis, and it cannot chuse but grieve and trouble thee, to hear that I have either strangled or drowned my self for thy sake.