Heliogabalus is taxed by Lampridius, and admired in his age for wearing jewels in his shoos, a common thing in our times, not for Emperours and Princes, but almost for serving-men and taylors: all the flowers, stars, constellations, gold and precious stones do condescend to set out their shooes. To repress the luxury of those Roman matrons, there was Lex Valeria and Oppia, and a Cato to contradict; but no Laws will serve to repress the pride and insolency of our days, the prodigious riot in this kind.

Lucullus wardrobe is put down by our ordinary Citizens; and a Coblers wife in Venus, a Courtesan in Florence, is no whit inferiour to a Queen, if our Geographers say true: and why is all this? Why do they glory in their Jewels (as he saith) or exult and triumph in the beauty of clothes? why is all this cost? to incite men the sooner to burning lust. They pretend decency and ornament; but let them take heed, lest while they set out their bodies, they do damn their souls; ’tis Bernards counsel: shine in Jewels, stink in conditions; have purple robes, and a torn conscience.

Let them take heed of Esayes Prophesie, that their slippers and tires be not taken from them, sweet balls, bracelets, earings, vailes, wimples, crisping-pins, glasses, fine linnen, hoods, lawns, and sweet favours, they become not bald, burnt, and stink upon a sudden. And let maids beware, as Cyprian adviseth, lest while they wander too loosly abroad, they loose not their virginities: and like Ægyptian temples, seem fair without, but prove rotten carcasses within.

How much better were it for them to follow that good counsel of Tertullian? To have their eyes painted with chastity, the Word of God inserted into their ears, Christ’s yoke tied to the hair, to subject themselves to their husbands. If they would do so, they should be comely enough, cloathe themselves with the silk of sanctity, damask of devotion, purple of piety and chastity, and so painted, they shall have God himself to be a suiter: Let whores and queanes prank up themselves, and let them paint their faces with minion and cerusse, they are but fuels of lust, and signs of a corrupt soul: if ye be good, honest, vertuous, and religious Matrons, let sobriety, modesty and chastity be your honour, and God himself your love and desire.

Mulier rectè olet, ubi nihil olet, then a woman smells best, when she hath no perfume at all; no crown, chain, or jewel (Guevarra adds) is such an ornament to a Virgin, or vertuous woman, quàm virgini pudor, as chastity is: more credit in a wise mans eye and judgement they get by their plainness, and seem fairer then they that are set out with bables, as a Butchers meat is with pricks, puffed up and adorned like so many Jays with variety of colours.

It is reported of Cornelia that vertuous Roman Lady, great Scipio’s daughter, Titus Sempronius wife, and the mother of the Gracchi, that being by chance in company with a Campanian, a strange gentlewoman (some light huswife belike, that was dressed like a May Lady, and as most of our gentlewomen are, was more sollicitous of her head tire, then of her health, that spent her time betwixt a comb and a glass, and had rather be fair then honest (as Cato said) and have the Common-wealth turned topsie turvie, then her tires marred; and she did naught but brag of her fine robes and jewels, and provoked the Roman Matron to shew hers: Cornelia kept her in talk till her children came from school, and these, said she, are my jewels, and so deluded and put off a proud, vain, phantastical huswife.

How much better were it for our Matrons to do as she did, to go civilly and decently, Honestæ mulieris instar quæ utitur auro pro eo quod est, ad ea tantum quibus opus est, to use gold as it is gold, and for that use it serves, and when they need it, then to consume it in riot, begger their husbands, prostitute themselves, inveagle others, and peradventure damn their own souls? How much more would it be for their honour and credit?

Thus doing, as Hierom said of Blesilla, Furius did not so triumph over the Gaules, Papyrius of the Samnites, Scipio of Numantia, as she did by her temperance; pulla semper veste, &c. they should insult and domineer over lust, folly, vain-glory, all such inordinate, furious and unruly passions.

But I am over tedious, I confess, and whilst I stand gaping after fine clothes, there is another great allurement, (in the worlds eye at least) which had like to have stoln out of sight, and that is mony, veniunt à dote sagittæ, mony makes the match; Μόνον ἄργυρον βλέπουσιν: ’Tis like sauce to their meat, cum carne condimentum, a good dowry with a wife. Many men if they do hear but of a great portion, a rich heir, are more mad then if they had all the beauteous ornaments, and those good parts Art and Nature can afford, they care not for honesty, bringing up, birth, beauty, person, but for mony.

Canes & equos (ô Cyrne) quærimus Nobiles, & à bonâ progenie: Malam vero uxorem, malique patris filiam Ducere non curat vir bonus, Modo ei magnam dotem afferat.

Our dogs and horses still from the best breed We carefully seek, and well may they speed: But for our wives, so they prove wealthy, Fair or foul, we care not what they be.

If she be rich, then she is fair, fine, absolute and perfect, then they burn like fire, they love her dearly, like pig and pye, and are ready to hang themselves if they may not have her. Nothing so familiar in these dayes, as for a young man to marry an old wife, as they say, for a piece of good; asinum auro onustum; and though she be an old crone, and have never a tooth in her head, neither good conditions, nor good face, a natural fool, but onely rich, she shall have twenty young Gallants to be suiters in an instant. As she said in Suetonius, non me, sed mea ambiunt, ’tis not for her sake, but for her lands or mony; and an excellent match it were (as he added) if she were away.

So on the other side, many a young lovely maid will cast away her self upon an old, doting, decrepit dizard,

Bis puer effœto quamvis balbutiat ore, Prima legit raræ tam culta roseta puellæ,

that is rheumatick and gouty, hath some twenty diseases, perhaps but one eye, one leg, never a nose, no hair on his head, wit in his brains, nor honesty, if he have land or mony, she will have him before all other suiters,

Dummodo sit dives barbarus ille placet.

If he be rich, he is the man, a fine man, and a proper man, she’l go to Iacaktres or Tidore with him; Gelasimus de monte aureo. Sir Giles Goose-cap, Sr. Amorous La-Fool, shall have her. And as Philemasium in Aristænetus told Emmusus, absq; argento omnia vana, hang him that hath no mony, ’tis to no purpose to talk of marriage without means, trouble me not with such motions; let others do as they will, Ile be sure to have one shall maintain me fine and brave. Most are of her minde, De moribus ultima fiet Quæstio, for his conditions, she shall enquire after them another time, or when all is done, the match made, and every body gone home.

Lucians Lysia was a proper young maid, and had many fine Gentlemen to her suiters; Ethecles a Senators son, Melissus a Merchant, &c. but she forsook them all for one Pasius a base, hirsute, bald-pated knave; but why was it? His father lately died and left him sole heir of his goods and lands.