They are not so behoveful: he that can tell his money hath Arithmetick enough: He is a true Geometrician, can measure out a good fortune to himself; A perfect Astrologer, that can cast the rise and fall of others, and marke their Errant motions to his own use. The best Opticks are, to reflect the beams of some great mens favor and grace to shine upon him. He is a good Engineer that alone can make an instrument to get preferment.

This was the common Tenent and practice of Poland, as Cromerus observed not long since, in the first Book of his History; their Universities were generally base, not a Philosopher, a Mathematician, an Antiquary, &c. to be found of any note amongst them, because they had no set reward or stipend, but every man betook himself to Divinity, hoc solum in votis habens, opimum sacerdotium, a good Personage was their aim.

This was the practice of some of our neer neighbors, as Lipsius inveighs, they thrust their children to the study of Law and Divinity, before they be informed aright, or capable of such studies. Scilicet omnibus artibus antistat spes lucri, & formosior est cumulus auri, quam quicquid Græci Latinique delirantes scripserunt. Ex hoc numero deinde veniunt ad gubernacula reipub. intersunt & præsunt consiliis regum, o pater, o patria? so he complained, and so may others. For even so we finde, to serve a great man, to get an Office in some Bishops Court (to practise in some good Town) or compass a Benefice, is the mark we shoot at, as being so advantagious, the high way to preferment.

Although many times, for ought I can see, these men fail as often as the rest in their projects, and are as usually frustrate of their hopes. For let him be a Doctor of the Law, an excellent Civilian of good worth, where shall he practise and expatiate? Their fields are so scant, the Civil Law with us so contracted with Prohibitions, so few Causes, by reason of those all-devouring municipal Laws, quibus nihil illiteratius, saith Erasmus, an illiterate and a barbarous study, (for though they be never so well learned in it, I can hardly vouchsafe them the name of Scholars, except they be otherwise qualified) and so few Courts are left to that profession, such slender offices, and those commonly to be compassed at such dear rates, that I know not how an ingenious man should thrive amongst them.

Now for Physitians, there are in every Village so many Mountebanks, Empericks, Quacksalvers, Paracelsians, as they call themselves, Causifici & sanicidæ, so Clenard tearmes them, Wisards, Alcumists, poor Vicars, cast Apothecaries, Physitians men, Barbers, and Good wives, professing great skill, that I make great doubt how they shall be maintained, or who shall be their Patients.

Besides, there are so many of both sorts, and some of them such Harpyes, so covetous, so clamorous, so impudent; and as he said, litigious Idiots,

Quibus loquacis affatim arrogantiæ est, Peritiæ parùm aut nihil, Nec ulla mica literarii salis, Crumenimulga natio: Loquteleia turba, litium strophæ, Maligna litigantium cohors, togati vultures, Lavernæ alumni, Agyrtæ, &c.

Which have no skill but prating arrogance, No learning, such a purse-milking nation: Gown’d vultures, theeves, and a litigious rout Of coseners, that haunt this occupation,

that they cannot well tell how to live one by another, but as he jested in the Comedy of clocks, they were so many, major pars populi aridâ reptant fame, they are almost starved a great part of them, and ready to devoure their fellowes, Et noxia calliditate se corripere, such a multitude of pettifoggers and Empericks; such imposters, that an honest man knows not in what sort to compose and behave himself in their society, to carry himself with credit in so vile a rout, scientiæ nomen, tot sumptibus partum & vigiliis, profiteri dispudeat, postquam &c.

Last of all to come to our Divines, the most noble profession and worthy of double honor, but of all others the most distressed and miserable. If you will not believe me, hear a brief of it, as it was not many years since publikely preached at Pauls cross, by a grave Minister then, and now a reverend Bishop of this land,

We that are bred up in learning, and destinated by our Parents to this end, we suffer our childhood in the Grammer school, which Austin calls magnam tyrannidem, & grave malum, and compares it to the torments of martyrdome; when we come to the University, if we live of the Colleage allowance, as Phalaris objected to the Leontines πάντων ἐνδεεῖς πλὴν λιμοῦ καὶ φόβου, needy of all things but hunger and fear, or if we be maintained but partly by our Parents cost, do expend in unnecessary maintenance, books and degrees, before we come to any perfection, five hundreth pounds, or a thousand marks.

If by this price of the expence of time, our bodies and spirits, our substance and patrimonies, we cannot purchase those small rewards, which are ours by law, and the right of inheritance, a poor Personage, or a Vicarige of 50 l. per annum, but we must pay to the Patron for the lease of a life (a spent and out-worne life) either in annual pension, or above the rate of a coppy-hold, and that with the hazard and loss of our souls, by Simony and perjury, and the forfeiture of all our spiritual preferments, in esse and posse, both present and to come.

What father after a while will be so improvident, to bring up his son to his great charge, to this necessary beggery? What Christian will be so irreligious, to bring up his son in that course of life, which by all probability and necessity, cogit ad turpia, enforcing to sin, will entangle him in simony and perjury, when as the Poet saith, Invitatus ad hæc aliquis de ponte negabit: a beggers brat taken from the bridge where he sits a begging, if he knew the inconvenience, had cause to refuse it.

This being thus, have not we fished fair all this while, that are initiate Divines, to finde no better fruits of our labors, hoc est cur palles, cur quis non prandeat hoc est? do we macerate our selves for this? Is it for this we rise so early all the year long? Leaping (as he saith) out of our beds, when we hear the bell ring, as if we had heard a thunderclap.

If this be all the respect, reward and honor we shall have, frange leves calamos, & scinde Thalia libellos: let us give over our bookes, and betake our selves to some other course of life? to what end should we study? Quid me litterulas stulti docuere parentes, what did our parents meane to make us schollers, to be as far to seek of preferment after twenty years study, as we were as first: why do we take such pains? Quid tantum insanis juvat impallescere chartis? If there be no more hope of reward, no better encouragement.

I say again; Frange leves calamos, & scinde Thalia libellos, lets turne souldiers, sell our books, and buy Swords, Guns, and Pikes, or stop bottles with them, turne our Philosophers gownes, as Cleanthes once did, unto millers coats, leave all and rather betake our selves to any other course of life, than to continue longer in this misery. Præstat dentiscalpia radere, quam literariis monumentis magnatum favorem emendicare.

Yea, but me thinkes I hear some man except at these words, that though this be true which I have said of the estate of Schollers, and especially of Divines, that it is miserable and distressed at this time, that the Church suffers shipwrack of her goods, and that they have just cause to complain; there is a fault, but whence proceeds it? If the cause were justly examined, it would be retorted upon our selves, if we were cited at that Tribunal of truth, we should be found guilty, and not able to excuse it.

That there is a fault among us, I confess, and were there not a buyer, there would not be seller: but to him that will consider better of it, it will more than manifestly appear, that the fountain of these miseries proceeds from these griping Patrons. In accusing them, I do not altogether excuse us; both are faulty, they and we: yet in my judgment, theirs is the greater fault, more apparant causes & much to be condemned.

For my part, if it be not with me as I would, or as it should, I do ascribe the cause, as Cardan did in the like case: meo infortunio potius quam illorum sceleri, to mine own infelicity, rather than their naughtiness: Although I have been baffled in my time by some of them, & have as just cause to complain as another: or rather indeed to mine own negligence;

for I was ever like that Alexander in Plutarch, Crassus his tutor in Philosophy, who though he lived many years familiarly with rich Crassus, was even as poor when from, (which many wondred at) as when he came first to him; he never asked, the other never gave him any thing; when he travelled with Crassus he borrowed an hat of him, at his returne restored it again.

I have had some such noble friends acquaintance and Schollers, but most part, (common courtesies and ordinary respects excepted) they & I parted as we met, they gave me as much as I requested, & that was —