This heaven of repentance is still open for all distressed souls; and howsoever as yet no signs appear, thou maist repent in good time. Hear a comfortable speech of S. Austin, Whatsoever thou shalt do, how great a sinner soever, thou art yet living; if God would not help thee, he would surely take thee away; but in sparing thy life, he gives thee leasure, and invites thee to repentance.

Howsoever as yet, I say, thou perceivest no fruit, no feeling, findest no likelihood of it in thy self, patiently abide the Lords good leisure; despair not, or think thou art a Reprobate; he came to call sinners to repentance, Luk. 5. 32. of which number thou art one; he came to call thee, and in his time will surely call thee.

And although as yet thou hast no inclination to pray, to repent, thy faith be cold and dead, and thou wholy averse from all divine functions, yet it may revive, as Trees are dead in Winter but flourish in the Spring; these Vertues may lie hid in thee for the present, yet hereafter shew themselves, and peradventure already bud, howsoever thou dost not perceive it. ’Tis Satans policy to plead against, suppress and aggravate, to conceal those sparks of faith in thee.

Thou dost not believe thou saist, yet thou wouldst believe if thou couldst, ’tis thy desire to believe; then pray, Lord help mine unbelief; and hereafter thou shalt certainly believe: Dabitur sitienti, It shall be given to him that thirsteth.

Thou canst not yet repent, hereafter thou shalt; a black cloud of sin as yet obnubilates thy soul, terrifies thy conscience, but this cloud may conceive a Rain-bow at the last, and be quite dissipated by repentance. Be of good chear; a child is rational in power, not in act; and so art thou penitent in affection, though not yet in action.

’Tis thy desire to please God, to be heartily sorry; comfort thy self, no time is overpast, ’tis never too late. A desire to repent, is repentance it self, though not in nature, yet in Gods acceptance; a willing minde is sufficient. Blessed are they that hunger and thirst after righteousness, Mat. 5. 6. He that is destitute of Gods Grace, and wisheth for it shall have it.

The Lord (saith David, Psal. 10. 17) will hear the desire of the poor, that is, of such as are in distress of body and minde. ’Tis true thou canst not as yet grieve for thy sin, thou hast no feeling of faith, I yeeld; yet canst thou grieve thou dost not grieve? It troubles thee, I am sure, thine heart should be so impenitent and hard, thou wouldst have it otherwise; ’tis thy desire to grieve, to repent and believe.

Thou lovest Gods children and Saints in the mean time, hatest them not, persecutest them not, but rather wishest thy self a true Professor, to be as they are, as thou thy self hast been heretofore; which is an evident token thou art in no such desperate case. ’Tis a good sign of thy conversion, thy sins are pardonable, thou art, or shalt surely be reconciled.

The Lord is near them that are of a contrite heart, Luk. 4. 18. A true desire of mercy in the want of mercy, is mercy it self; a desire of grace in the want of grace, is grace it self; a constant and earnest desire to believe, repent, and to be reconciled to God, if it be in a touched heart, is an acceptation of God, a reconciliation, Faith and Repentance it self.

For it is not thy Faith and Repentance, as Chrysostom truly teacheth, that is vailable, but Gods mercy that is annexed to it, he accepts the will for the deed: So that I conclude; to feel in our selves the want of grace, and to be grieved for it, is grace it self.

I am troubled with fear my sins are not forgiven, Careless objects; but Bradford answers, they are; For God hath given thee a penitent and believing heart, that is, an heart which desireth to repent and believe; for such a one is taken of him (he accepting the will for the deed) for a truly penitent and believing heart.

All this is true thou replyest, but yet it concerns not thee, ’tis verified in ordinary offenders, in common sins, but thine are of an higher strain, even against the Holy Ghost himself, irremissible sins, sins of the first magnitude, written with a pen of Iron, engraven with the point of a Diamond.

Thou art worse then a Pagan, Infidel, Jew, or Turk; for thou art an Apostate and more, thou hast voluntarily blasphemed, renounced God and all Religion, thou art worse then Judas himself, or they that crucified Christ: for they did offend out of ignorance, but thou hast thought in thine heart there is no God.

Thou hast given thy soul to the Divel, as Witchers and Conjurers do, explicitè and implicitè, by compact, band, and obligation (a desperate, a fearfull case) to satisfie thy lust, or to be revenged of thine enemies, thou didst never pray, come to Church, hear, read, or do any divine duties with any devotion, but for formality and fashion sake, with a kinde of reluctancie, ’twas troublesome and painfull to thee to perform any such thing, præter voluntatem, against thy will.

Thou never mad’st any conscience of lying, swearing, bearing false witness, murder, adultery, brybery, oppression, theft, drunkenness, idolatry, but hast ever done all duties for fear of punishment, as they were most advantageous, and to thine own ends, and committed all such notorious sins, with an extraordinary delight, hating that thou shouldest love, and loving that thou shouldest hate.

In stead of Faith, fear and love of God, repentance, &c. blasphemous thoughts have been ever harboured in his minde, even against God himself, the blessed Trinitie: the Scripture false, rude, harsh, immethodicall: Heaven, hell, resurrection, meer toyes and fables; incredible, impossible, absurd, vain, ill contrived; Religion, Policie, and humane invention, to keep men in obedience, or for profit, invented by Priests and Law-givers to that purpose.

If there be any such supream power he takes no notice of our doings, hears not our prayers, regardeth them not, will not, cannot help, or else he is partiall, an excepter of persons, authour of sin, a cruell, a destructive God, to create our souls, and destinate them to eternall damnation, to make us worse then our dogs and horses, why doth he not govern things better, protect good men, root out wicked livers? why do they prosper and flourish? as she raved in the tragedy ——pellices cœlum tenent, there they shine,

Suásq; Perseus aureas stellas habet,

where is his providence? how appears it?

Marmoreo Licinus tumulo jacet, at Cato parvo, Pomponius nullo, quis putet esse Deos.

Why doth he suffer Turks to overcome Christians, the enemy to triumph over his Church; Paganisme to domineer in all places as it doth, heresies to multiply, such enormities to be committed? and so many such bloudy wars, murders, massacres, plagues, feral diseases? why doth he not make us all good, able, sound? why makes he venomous creatures, rocks, sands, deserts, this earth it self the muck-hill of the world, a prison, an house of correction?

Mentimur regnare Iovem, &c.

With many such horrible and execrable conceits, not fit to be uttered; Terribilia de fide, horribilia de Divinitate. They cannot some of them but think evil, they are compelled volentes nolentes, to blaspheme, especially when they come to Church and pray, read, &c. such foul and prodigious suggestions come into their hearts.

These are abominable, unspeakable offences, and most opposite to God, tentationes fœdæ & impiæ; yet in this case, he or they that shall be tempted and so affected, must know, that no man living is free from such thoughts in part, or at some times the most divine spirits have been so tempted in some sort, evil custom, omission of holy exercises, ill company, idleness, solitariness, melancholy, or depraved nature, and the divel is still ready to corrupt, trouble, and divert our souls, to suggest such blasphemous thoughts into our phantasies, ungodly, profane, monstrous and wicked conceits:

If they come from Satan, they are more speedy, fearfull and violent, the parties cannot avoid them: they are more frequent, I say, and monstrous when they come; for the divel he is a spirit, and hath means and opportunitie to mingle himself with our spirits, and sometimes more slily, sometimes more abruptly and openly, to suggest such divelish thoughts into our hearts; he insults and domineers in melancholy distempered phantasies and persons especially: